if we see each other next to never
how can there be forever.

ok cin says must have a new year resolution.ok here's it.My New Year Resolution for 2005 is not to make reolutions i cannot keep!

good one eh?haha

ok im damn busy online for one of e first times.today sorta went shopping bought a mango top.tmr gonna go zara sale!den got bbq countdown.playing minsweeper with cin now.hahah pretty cool to feel busy.haha

http://www.guorong.proximuz.us/gallery
www.pbase.com/ordinaryless and www.pbase.com/ordinaryless2
these are some sites my fren put up e photos he tok.its quite pro so if u like such stuff take a look!

Avril Lavigne - I'm With You

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

im looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you


oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

ok the main point is tt im really cold.haha but e song's nice but a little outdated la right.

To all the people who ever came by my workplace this holiday to give me some support, thank you. Now i don't work there liao so if u ever try to find me i'll not be there la(duh).but thanks for everything anyway.u all brightened up my boring days.haha

over!i don't have to work anymore cos e business is quite bad so i figured e boss din wanna make more losses by having to pay us salary to sit ard munching chips all day.anyway it was indeed an experience for me.altho many times were spent really bored there were good times too like whn i saw famous ppl.haha.saw desmond koh twice n adrian pang n hong huifang and my cousin said thomas ong came by.oh well i missed it cos i was learning weiqi yesterday or day before yesterday if u count past e midnight or wadever crap.its like e hardest game ever and its so damn intimidating.e empty board is there n u gotta place e seeds comewhere n all over is empty!not like all e other chess games where e pieces are already there.haha i won e guy who taught me cos he gave me 9 seeds handicap(meaning i got 9 seeds on e board even before we started so im at dis 100%winning advantage) and teach me how to kill him by ensuring i dun do stupid moves.i totally cant figure out how ppl see so far on an empty board n theres all this xiaofei dafei ladder eye things tt im really slow at.but nvm man at least i sorta get an idea of e game.always watch huanzhugege and think tt its reversi or sth but its not!!haha.

went shopping sneakily e day b4 n my cousin got some guy to help us watch e shop.dunno her la.den we sneaked off to mango n i got a skirt its like v cute but adrea say it looks like st mag n our sch uniform!!oh well its dark green with yellow polka dots.n today i bought this spag top frm GG<5 at like only 9 bucks but its a little big so maybe i'll do sth to it.i love e school of fishes swimming in e deep blue sea!!haha i din even wear spag strap b4(alone) but so cute so i'll figure out wad to do with it la.

tmr i wanna go shopping anyone wanna go with me?haha i damn sian now.anyway i know my parents love me and everything tts y they're always so concerned about me but sometimes its suffocating when they keep imposing traditional ideas onto u.nowadays its impossible to just clothes can wear den can liao right?my mum's complaining abt my 48bucks forever 21 jeans.she say ppl give me one i dun wear must buy new one.they dun even fit n e cutting is damn outdated la!smtimes feel tt they're not being v reasonable(in e 21st century la).and plus i have such a larghe extended family they all report to my mum whenever they see me.how irritating.sorry but now i still cant understand e amt of restrictions u impose on me.mayb nxt time i'll understand when im a mother.

anyway this is for e victims of e tsunami frm e earthquake thing.i've been really busy e past few days n so havent been able to catch e news of it properly but i know tt many lives were lost n i see dreadful photos of rows of dead ppl(children upset me e most).its quite sad how e earth makes a fool outta man isnt it.hopefully everything will clear up soon n all e missing ppl b found (please b alive). we'll survive this diaster.

aiya today sales like shit.i mean toatlly shit we din even sell more den 50bucks worth of stuff for e entire day it was so bad we closed at like 10sth instead of 11 sth tt we used to to.i was buying macs den e cashier was like telling me "u came here before right? last time also i serve u one" actually i din really remember properly but den i found e short guy quite familiar den i ealised is a few days ago he took damn long time to attend to e previous cutomers order den make me wait like so long while ppl in other queues progressed much faster so i just said "ya."oh well.den he go n say "surely come back again one" to e other cashier beside him.i mean like duh cos like how much variety of stuff do i eat at taka and i'll have to rotate e stuff for like till 2nd jan la.haha.

bess n cin came by today again but they sat at our places(me n my cousin) den my cousin had to stand outside.later when they left she was telling me how e lady boss sharing e stall with us(she's gd frens with my lady boss) keep looking at her standing outside n den at cin n bess.den later she told me its no good to let yur frens in e shop so near e where we kept all e valuables n all e crap n sit inside later if lady boss come surely get into trouble den she say lucky i working with her if not if i work with someone i dunno she'll surely complain to e boss.oh well.dunno la.so next time u all visit me just stand outside can?cos not v convenient i guess.sorry.

today laureen came by to pass me e xmas presents n i forgot to pass her her shirt!!!!ahh!!i brought it yesterday n today just to return her la!aiya.anyway thanks for e presents i love e wrapping papaer n e chocolates!i'll prob use e box to keep some stuff la cos i already kow how to open it.haha.cin n bess also came along to see me thanks so much for coming by so much!!!i promise to give u all a treat after i get my pay.today had so much bad luck cos everytime i stand up e person i was going to promote e stuff to just walks away.sad hor.i think i wanna bring some math to do there.my brain is rotting with e low activity going on.dun even have a bk to read.tried drawing today but it doesnt really make me stop feeling sleepy.fell asleep twice today liao la.later boss c den die ah.

spent a wonderful xmas day rotting at e stall.like so little ppl came by n i nearly fell asleep.went a little crazy cos we were so bored so my cousin n i took out e blow blow stuff frm e party bag someone gave us and sorta had a blowing war den dis little kid was laughing at us cos we were trying to hit each other with e roll thing tt unrolls when u blow.haha tt was how bored we were la.anyway today no one i knew came by!!!sad la.yesterday yuan loong came n bought e rubbish throw throw crap.he's such a cute little didi with bushy eyebrows!haha n today got dis china person i think tot tt e sponge painting set was plastercine until after we packed everything n collect e money den he asked then found out wrong.he was v funny man.haha.even funnier cos dis ah pek told him grandchild(i think) to say thank u auntie to me when i gave her a free pen to bluff her to go away.I'M ONLY 16 LA AH PEK.I AUNTIE U WAD?aiya his vocab not good i think.

i get this terrible feeling tt im offending everyone.sorry.ignore me.i'm spouting rubbish if u dun like wadever i say k.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FOLKS!ok today knocked off quite early which i din expect so i just went to help sell e snow spray since no one was free to celebrate with me.quite successful sold quite alot la but got sprayed so much la.some ppl who i dun even know sprayed so much on my face i nearly went blind or something.n i v nice one lor din spray anyone(except e little boy at e beginning who was bullying me by spraying so much on me).oh well.but i realised how e society is not all prim n proper n pretty perfect like how we are used to.ppl get agitated over silly things and wanna start fights n rude ppl just barge in on u without any warning.some more got dis gang of pickpockets ard(we were warned by e organisers.they were wearing black long sleeve shirt with white stripes).i guess i was too protected since young la.so stupid i am.den when walking to find my parents' car some guy was following me la den i was quite scared la cos i tot he'll suddenly pop out n spray half a can of snow on me but luckily didnt la.

feeling quite depressed now.no christmas spirit some more.

ok i feel like a piece of shit now.sorry i spoiled cin's day.sorry im such a mean ass pig who makes false accusations.i seem to be doing everything wrong nowadays.really wish i could be out shopping with cin n bess.feel like some lau sai pok.life feels shitty n e stupid ass hole fat sewing woman refuse to roughly explain how to sew e rest of e skirt(its my last lesson liao) she say i dun finish one part cant learn e other part but i not coming anymore cant i just at least try at home!?stupid idiot hope she get knocked down by car.she kept complaining loudly in class how i so impatient if she had known then she wouldnt have accepted me as a student.stupid bitch her designs are all so outdated n she dun even know how to sew e mordern zip tt can be hidde.n always talk on e phone got tt act sweet voice tt sounds so gross i wanna puke.some more when i stand outside waiting 4 her to open n when she does she keeps insisting she opens exactly at 10 but i look at her clock its like 10.05 la.stupid ass.n always busy with doing alterations for customers waste my time.don't ever learn sewing at yi chiah tailoring n dressmaking institute.it sucks n its so dirty n old.worst is e woman.

anyway today got ppl visit me!haha e superhero lion with new specs brought me nice chewy sweet frm japan n nc juniors passed by!huiboon fenghui n siying.haha n one of them bought something!thank you so much ah!!tmr is gonna be a lonely xmas eve.nvm.i deserve it.i feel like a mess of shit.really.and that totally sucks.

ok today bess and cin come.ok here's a BIG THANK YOU TO BESS AND CIN FOR COMING DOWN SO MANY TIMES TO SUPPORT ME!aiya anyway today got a little headache during work n tt stupid guy sharing e stall keep throwing balls at me(e small basketball set e small balls.like those ikea ballrm size type).so irritating la.and i wanted to tell e boss to go n die cos he was actually saying we have to work till past midnight on xmas eve n new yr eve.ARGH.i wanna celebrate with my friends!!!!nxt yr like gonna b seperated liao la.but in e end he say can end work at abt 1030 to eleven tt day.hope so la but no one wants to come town to celebrate with me anyway:(anyway cin chose rj n i'm like damn sad.a little bit make me feel like my priginal dream was stolen.oh well i dun think anyone will understand but nvm.adrea's at hc too so its all gonna b ok!!(her chinese is like worse den mine la.hahaha)

sometimes you really wonder if those that you care for care back just as much.

cin go hc!!!!!!!i hope rj dun offer e combi u want.hahah.i mean isnt it good to stick together?adrea's there too la.so at least half e nerd club will b together.plus e distance will totally kill u.now going home u complain liao bishen u'll just die everyday la.plus hc more prestiogious cos its e hardest to get in n plus there arent gonna b so many materialistic bimbos i think.haha.oh well this paragraph wa dedicated to cin in hope to help her decide.i'm helping u chose la.just weighing pros n cons.haha

anyway today i saw alot of ppl!i saw huimin n valerie n their friends!n plus nc ppl=eeli(she brought them there), huey ying, madeline, limin, yokefun, rebecca n some little boy who i think is one of them e brother la.quite happy!haha n i made lotsa stuff with plastecine today!!french fries durians etc n male n female mannequins which i tot was quite cool la except i dun really know how to make 6pack so it looks abit like rib cage.hahaha.i'm quite pissed with e sewing class lady la.she always miscommunication with me make me do wrong things den must unpick so much.so tiring la.and once again i'll like to THANK YOU ALL FOR VISITING ME.u all made my day:)

ok today has gone by and sales improved!thanks eeli ah for bringing your mum n she got sth!ms tan came but nv bought anything n she promised to come back later but nv came back=(anyway everyday there's sm1 not bad looking ard la.hahah at least keep me occupied for some time.dis mix guy was standing at e puzzle stall for like half an hour but i think is cos e stall tender was quite chio n cute.hahah.den we were teeling e boss how shld make him come everyday buy minimum 50bucks den give one digit of her phone no. everyday.hahaha.tmr got dressmaking again but i haven sewn e part of e skirt i was supposed to bring home to sew.nvm get up a little earlier tmr to do it la.v tired n sian la.13 more days to go...

another tiring day at work.i don't think got ppl work seven days a week for like 12 hours la.anyway i aim to see at least one person i know everyday at work so do come and support me!!anyway today got a cute didi!haha is e share stall one of the promotor's little bro sec 2 at anglican high or sth i heard e other person say.e other person was also saying he's damn samart take like such a short time to solve dis difficult puzzle at e stall.haha he's tanned n wore a white shirt n oh so cute.hahah but a little young la.today sold more stuff but its not even halfway to how much i need a day to get any commission.terrible.but i hope at least one cute little kid will come to play at my stall everyday.n one person i know visit.first day is adityo n ahem.second day is cin.third day is laureen n eeli.fourth day is laureen(she bought me a hotdog n drink.thanks ah!).tmr is who i wonder.better have someone ah!

today was damn tiring n damn sian near e end i was sorta hallucinating tt i wasnt really there but just dreaming.trust me to do such stuff on e job.anyway e share stall other ppl one guy say i like ah lian.WHERE GOT?!haha oh well not as if its e first time i heard n im not exactly very pleased.haha.OH and there's this damn cute boy there la.he's called brandon and he's only up to my tummy and he's only 4 yrs old.his mum takes care of e stall opposite us.he was like asking me if i like e pumpkin thing he bought i was like ya i like so will u give me?den he said u buy frm there la den i said i got no money and he said my mummy and daddy got money.haha.funny ah and he's really v cute n he was saying how mahjong is gambling and it will take away your money then u cant buy stuff.hahaha.oh well.SO CUTE!!!!i think i was sorta having pms at e end of e day n i was quite irritate with some ppl.lets not think abt unhappy stuff.

anyway here's a tribute to my parents.they're really nice its just i cant stand them sometimes when they get really naggy n try to control me so much.my dad helps me make breakfast every morning and fetch me to places i need to go when i ask(most of e time unless he got meetings) and my mum got up to make lunch for me to bring to work today(although after eating i got a stomachache, dunno got link not).i always curse them but sometimes really appreciate their actions.i think they,like me dunno how to really show their love to ppl la.haha.

ok so i found a job.its like eleven to eleven everyday till jan 2nd.PLEASE COME AND SUPPORT ME AT TAKA OUTSIDE THE BIG TENT BUY ART STUFF OR NICE ORGANISERS.yes please come and visit me i'll be wearing a yellow t shirt (beside my stall is a automatic mahjong table its damn cool)cos we hardly have business and stay there for so long i'm really v bored.

anyway my sat score is like shit la i dun even have 1300.v sad my english sucks.oh well maybe its also because i cant stand leaving questions tt i dunno out so i end up getting more marks deducted for wrong questions.stupid me.

anyway i got a little regret choosing hc cos like rj got nice scenery ah.sigh.haha.thanks adityo yesterday come to my stall n give me my present n money to treat me n bring me eye candy until i keep smiling to myself cant concentrate on my job.sigh..

cousin sorta found a job for me but im not sure if i can get it cos i wont b able to go on time due to my dressmaking lessons but she says she'll try to persuade e person.hopefully can but i wont have time to go out with anyone!!!like i have to work everyday till 2nd jan.aiya.but c if i get it first or not la if not later dun get den so unlucky again.i ate the whole box of chicken in a biscuit today n i read tt if i ate e whole box i'd have consumed like 60g of fat.i'm really pleased.NEED TO EXERCISE.hai.i wish everybody will come back from holiday and play with me.

ok i gave up.the stupid ugly man din call.too bad he missed out cos i bet i'll b a damn good promoter k.anyway anyone who wants to hire a temporary worker till end of december contact me!i can clean/look after kids/teach/wash car/cashier/sales assistant/sweep floor anything that's not indecent or illegal or very dirty then i'll do it.hai.its so horrible to sit at home doing nothing for so long.anyway im doing a skirt now at e dressmaking lesson.its much faster den i tot.tmr can sew liao.last time it took like 3 lessons before i actually started touching e cloth.oh well.life stinks now.

went for job interview for pioneer today and prospects don't look too good.e person said he'll call us(me n cin) tmr but i dunno if he'll hire cos we have no experience n we only can work for so short time.never mind must not give up.anyway i read finish 2 books!starting on my third!yay.hope those in america are having fun n dun forget me on their shopping list :)

i feel like im rotting and dying and wasting my life away.sleeping for so much everyday n having horrible dreams.so terrible.tommorow im really gonna try to call for job in e classified hopefully theres some left for me.star awards was quite crapy but adrea's lionboy looked not bad in a suit la.hai read books liao but i like losing interest in many things.i hate tt.my fingers are feeling cold n im gorging myself on all e food at home.guess i only know how to eat when im bored.i shall find something to occupy myself.draw or something.yes.find a purpose in life.

oh well.using bess comp now.we were supp to swim but sun got lost in e clouds when we got down so ended up more of talking in e pool.it was so cold u can totaly keep icecream there la.anyway i bought jeans frm forever 21 but my legs are like too short so i need to alter e pants cos its so long.bought big silver hoop earrings n little black star studs too.haha.so im like totally broke now so i really hope my dad will give me e money for e jeans so tt i can pay bess back.hai plus i like e green top frm e store too.but its like 38bucks.how come so ex for tt little bit of cloth?always lidat one la.

anyway was it me you meant?cos it aint whaat u thought.

ok today din go out(other den for dressmaking lessons.i finished my blouse.finally.gonna learn skirt nxt wk).supp to go bess house to swim but looked like gonna rain so never.tmr prob go town cos bess mum say tmr got ppl going to clean e house so if we go swimming we'll get in e way.oh well.cin says theres john little sale.packing my wardrobe now.its so full of crap la.my nose so itchy frm packing.ok so theres no link btwn nose n packing.

i have a headache.i'm not even asking for anything impossible.

finished painting adrea's room liao.and i have like only 1 pair of shorts tt is not with paint n its my nike shorts.sad case right.anyway i like me!or at least e ostrich which is supposed to be me.noelle says tt e more she looks at me e more she thinks i look like an ostrich -.-".oh well at least i got more hair than it!ok my blouse is probably gonna b done tomorrow.tired of sewing but i dun wanna start drawing again!!!it totally sucks la one small design takes me like and hour to draw or sth.dunno la.anyway my lion is back.lent it to adrea for a night to reduce e sorrow.

sometimes tt wonderful feeling can be taken away in just one moment.and u suddenly get a feeling whether it was all actually a sham.

had this damn filling buffet dinner at swissotel stamford hotel treat from liting n cin.im totally gonna burst.drank 3 bowls of soup n ate so much dessert.burp like siao n shitted quite alot.anyway painted adrea's room today.only part of her wall is done.tmr gonna do some more must finish cos she gonna leave for america already!!!must buy present ah.

oh anyway today quite happy.thank you sexy legs if u read this.haha

happy birthday jacinta!!!!hope u enjoy today.sorry sneakily using your comp without u knowing.


ok so im a fucking overbearing friend who is the most unreasonable in the world.are u happy now?

tomorrow is sat!!!!like SAT not saturday but tommorow is saturday too!i'm crazy la.n never study.we're gonna do adrea's room tmr.haah wonder how it'll turn out sunno if her mum allows us to paint e walls.n must remember to collect e tuition money too.if not i will nv remember it.today was an ok day.i cut e cloth during lesson.like how slow la.but nvm i'm gonna finally sew next tue!...next week can go out liao.must play before everyone leaves on a holiday.

looking at stuff from a different perspective has made me a much happier person!haha.wad crap man

suddenly remembered sylvester sang this song i tot quite nice - The Way You Look Tonight
Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

I know I stand in line
Until you think
You have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go
Someplace to dance
I know that
There's a chance
You won't be
Leaving with me
Then afterwards
We drop into
A quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go
And spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like 'I love you'

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise
The same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's

Just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed
So right before

I practice every day
To find some
Clever lines to say
To make the meaning
Come through
But then I think
I'll wait until the
Evening gets late

And I'm alone with you
The time is right
Your perfume
Fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go
And spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like 'I love you'
I love you

taufik won.totally expected.but i think sylvester will make it further.just like clay aiken.oh well.started dressmaking lessons liao.now quite boring.draw stuff i dun really understand.nvm i'll start sewing properly on fri i think.den SAT on sat.den dun have to worry abt anything liao.gonna have nice dinner on tue cos mon is top model's finale so cant go out.haha tts v funny.

hai now in a dilema.should i do it?

bored to tears.