at adrea's.her blogger is all in chinese and i have no idea why.anyw kickboxing is a total killer!nv knew it was so tiring la.two more days.hopefully we'll be able to do it.sup to go home pack room/do econs at adrea's house but looks like both failed.tonight:)haha positive thinking.

i've got blisters on my feet!all burst too.but nevermind.went out to celebrate cherlyn's birthday which happens to be tmr so HAPPY BIIRTHDAY CHERLYN may u grow tall soon!hahaha.but today was a happy day:)

watched armageddon and it was so so sad!oh well but liv tyler is how chio!i realised im not gonna have time this hols to really study.good luck for block test ah.hope have time to catch up wth nerd club too!i will organise myself and my pigsty room tmr.oh!but im happy to say i went swimming today!so i exercised and got rid of some of my flab!ok no wait maybe just cancelled out the swensens i ate for lunch.haha.

today was v&r campfire and i dance one part wrongly!wa damn malu la!anyw im double burnt cos had touch rug training in e morning!i am so totally black.i miss golf and the camp alot.i guess its really hard to re-adjust when u come back to the real world where everything aint so slack afterall.lost my enthusiasm today dunno for wad reason.ok mayb i just need a good night's rest!:)

the leadership ended and it totally surpassed my expectations of it.it wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be, in fact it was quite good:)credit goes to my Great Group Golf-even though we were late bloomers who only showed signs of spirit on the 2nd day, it was really good to have had all of you!our raft was totally pro la.how can we forget our moments shared squeezing 16 people on a tiny mat, rehearsing for our item, stoneing together ever so often, staying up till 3am to play skipping stones on chin yuen's phone(gabriel just reminded me is only me n him cos e rest all went to sleep n pangseh us).haha there is simply too much for me to type here.so all i have to say is- thank you.

haven't started packing.29 april if i was not wrong.this won't make sense to most of you.that was the last time i could remember.i guess nothing's left right?i wish everything was clearer.and easier.and everything else.gosh why am i like that?

Friends are like television.
Some are like PBS and always asking for money.
Others are like the news, with sad tales to tell everyday,
some are like that one station with the foreing language; you don't understand a word of it but you listen and watch anyway.
And then there are the ones like the commercials, always changes, ever-so-annoying and only seem to be there when you are bored.
But every once and a while you meet someone who's like a really good movie of the week or that one tv show you hardly ever get to see anymore because you're so busy.
My point is hold on to the friends you care about and since we don't have a remote control to mute someone or just change the channel, pick your friends carefully.

meaningful right!

The reason god put spaces in between your fingers was so another person's hands could fill it up.

extremely hot weather these days.did some math tutorial!proud of myself!i'll pack my room i swear.its really damn messy now.anyw i have good persuading skills man!hha im feeling hungry alot nowadays.keep having cravings for food.bad!i shall exercise more.

To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you.

ever had one of those days when someone came up to you and asked "what's wrong?" and you say "I don't feel good.." and they ask "what hurts?" and all you wanna say is "my heart".

It not about the weather; it's who you step outside with.

oh ya thanks for the treat bess!nerd club must meet again soon k?it somehow just makes me forget everything else and i'm just happy when we're together.

the elddfs play yesterday was soooo lame!i've nv seen anything lamer but ya they really made good use of words and everything fitted in so well and lamely.happy birthday dad.sorry i aint in e best of moods now.

i guess mistakes are how people learn right?

oh and i forgot to thank my laogong for bringing honey water for me!thanks laogong!:)

had our first formal.it was lasted quite long cos me and kailing has quite alot to say.oops.but something really cool happened just now!paul n i were on 156 on e way home and a guy n girl just gave us this i-think-i-know-u-look and e guy suddenly asked "wad com are u frm?"ECACO!haha anyw it turned out they were frm e 30th students' council(apparantly they just met sam on e bus they just got off then they saw us!).e guy was e cheer ic!cant believe it!it was so cool la sorta had this family feeling like we share e hwachong council thing.now that's wad i meant n always thought of as the warm family spirit!good luck to bballers tmr!

please leave some voice for saturday's oral.thank you.ok today officially saw us being councillors.quite overwhelming to try to see what's ahead of you.today had a not-so-tiny glitch.but they say after bad things come something good right?hope it's true.hope bball on fri will be a success!i really promise to catch up with my worlk on e hols.

totally tired.throat sore from cheering 2 consecutive bball games.tomorrow's rehearsal's gonna kill me man.get all e life outta me.nvm i'll stand string with my lao gong and lao po behind me!gotta rush some tutorials to pretend i did stuff by onight.hai.anyw just now met a lady frm chins who lost her way when i was walking home.i was damn proud k cos i could communicate with her(tho not v properly) but my dad din allow me to walk her to her destination altho it was damn hard to direct her.my parents claim tt some china ppl are out to cheat us.wad rubbish la.she looked so lost k.i felt damn guilty cos her sis called me n said its been 1 hour n she hasnt arrived(just now i lent e lady my phone to call her sis).hope she reaches safely k.i was damn proud when the lady was asking me(xing1 jia1 po1 ren2 dou1 na4 me4 shan4 liang2 de4 ma?) which translates to are singaporeans all so kind?hahaha yay i did sth nice today!

i really like this song.its by mcfly and its so sweet:)

All About You.
It's all about you (it's all about you)
It's all about you baby
It's all about you (it's all about you)
It's all about you

Verse 1:
Yesterday you asked me something I thought you knew
So I told you with a smile, it's all about you
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me too
Said you'd make my life worthwhile, it's all about you

Chorus:
And I would answer all of your wishes
If you ask me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what I'd do
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you, yeah!

Chorus 2:
And I would answer all of your wishes
If you ask me to
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what I'd do
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles
Yes you make my life worthwhile
So I told you with a smile
It's all about you

went to support them at touch rug comp n im all burnt.its always lidat i dun play but im e most like a lobster.anyw im v pleased with all of them cos they displyed great spirit esp at e tug-of-war when we all did some hwa chong cheers!lasted for so long frm like 9 to 5 la.oh man tts working hours!haha later went for lunch/dinner with adrea!i really dunno how im gonna do my hw.anyw i feel really bad.im in this piss mood with my family.i think im so unreasonable.they asked me to go play badminton after i ame back home but i din wanna go cos i was tired n burnt.den my mum said it was e only time we got to spend together as a family so i relented.but later i discovered my sis packed e slippers i usually wear for obs tmr den she refuse to lemme use so i got pissed n din wanna go.sigh im really evil!i wish i wasnt so.

today's work session overshot so din get to meet adrea.was quite sad.trying to do a template now.might not be succesful.its always like tt.its raining now.like the smell.n how everything feels.like the world slows down or something.ok im starting to get rubbishy!

today ended o so late!but anyw i got paul as my long-term-take-bus-home-together friend!so tt kinda makes everything much better doesnt it?:)im so glad got no tests next week only alot of rehearsals.cheer uo lao po!cheer up freddie!cheer up those who are sad!

I'm sorry for how screwed up i can be.
I'm sorry if i made you think wrong about me.

Forgive me, i know what you said was right.
Now cause i messed up, you don't want really want me in your life.

I don't want you to go,
i can't go on with out you!
I'm SO SORRY! I'm telling
you the truth.

Please find it in your soul that i need you,
and i can't complete my heart.
I can't have you gone, with me
falling apart!

I'm sorry, i truly am.
I can't live life
now that you don't give a damn.

i'm really screwed for math lecture test tmr.hai its my fault nv pay attention to the ap gp sigma lectures.and MI is also mostly made up of it.im so stuck now.everything sucks at this moment.

today was a surprisingly good day!physics SPA ended in like 1 hour plus so we got about one period free.n now we have this new family!haha shant elaborate too much la.tmr is chem SPA den fri math lecture test.after this week i'll be so relieved.then comes next week but that can wait for e weekend before i start worrying again.sorry cin it just stinks when our timings clash.like really.i hate it.sorry.

ok im a confused person.haha im so lost its funny.i dunno what am i doing!:) smile smile smile jamie.

Hold me in your arms
just one more time.
Tell me you love me
but don't make me cry.

I've waited so long
for you to feel the same.
We've been playing all this time
I'm so tired of this game.

Finally you say it
in those words is a release.
Only in your arms
is where I feel at peace.

So for one last time
just pull me close.
Help me forget that
she's the one you chose.

i saw this damn cute quote.my knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.haha so cute ah.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AWYONG!to our very efficient touch rug captain yeah hope u have a great day!today went for touch training.didnt go for a week liao but oh well it was fun today except for the times where we sorta made karen pissed cos sometimes we just couldnt do our stuff on the field.i've become so pok liao i hope i'll be able to go for more trainings!this week is absolutely crazy!and im still stuck in front of the comp not wanting to do any work.boo.

I'm gonna smile when I feel like crying, gonna act happy when i feel like dying, gonna laugh out loud when I'm feeling blue, and i won't let it bother me when i see her with you.

today was a success!bess was so surprised and caught off guard with our birthday secret plan for her!we're like how pro la:) so HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESS!hope u had a great time today and may the nerd club always stay alive!its terrible i havent done any hw.im so so dead la.terrible jamie.but i baked a cake yesterday!for bess n mum.n my sis n bro quite liked it i think:)

preparing for tmr!anyway today was a tiring but rather rewarding day:)did my first job with my dear partner kailing(hot chicks!)haha okok anyw thanks to my dad for helping me get e choc.i feel so guilty throwing sorta a temper when he bought e wrong choc den he went out n buy another one.oh dear.im so mean.sorry dad.its just i dun dare tell u in e face.hope everything works well!argh busy with chocolate hands!

i'm sorry.really truly sorry.i was always the one who was afraid to lose you.i was always the one who was afraid that you'll find someone new.yet you're the one who really makes the effort.please call me on my handphone.like really.i don't care if my bill explodes or sth(it won't really la cos i hardly talk alot on e handphone anyw).you're the most important person in my life k and its true i'm not being dumb and mushy saying it.sorry a thousand times, a million times.i'm just really sorry.i really hope to be able to be there you know.so call me or msg den i'll get bcak to you k?anyway i ain't exactly living the high life over here la.sorry cin.

pms lately i guess.today did pompoms!as if its anything new.oh well but im quite sad i missed touch rug training this week but i guess i need to learn how to sacrifice everything for council.went for the late president's wake yesterday and i realised how final it must mean to be dead.they were saying that jamie go wake later wake the person up ah but then when i bowed and saw his waxy face i just felt so terrible cos you know no matter how much noise i make nothing is ever gonna bring that person back again.it was funny how we were so talkative when queueing up to get in but afetr paying our respects none of us really felt like talking.

oh anyw elections are finally over!its pretty tiring to stay back in sch till so late and uncle chong just barks at you n nearly locks the gate but because there was one car driving out so we could actually walk out only listening to him getting pissed off and swinging e gate real hard and nearly hitting us n e car.oh well.

sss pres!(:ok so lame!

i wish i could be like you.it's tiring to think.i don't want to anymore.i hate it when my heart tells me something and my head tells me another.and everything gets all entangled and knotted in your chest and u want to laugh and you want to cry but you just don't know what to do.everything's all mixed up.if only it was as easy to say goodbye to you

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
Tears from behind my eyes but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and

I say Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

We the stars fall and I lie awake
You're my shooting star

Fairy tales never come true - they really never do.

A really sweet thing.

10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the guy next to me. He was my so-called "best friend" I stared at his short, spiky hair and wished he was mine but he didn't notice me like that and I knew it. After class, I went up to him and asked him for the notes I had missed the day before and he gave them to me. I told him thanks and kissed him on the cheek. I wanted to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him but i'm just too shy and I don't know why.

11th grade
I called him. On the other end it was him, comforting me. I was in tears mumbling on and on about how my love had broke my heart. I asked him to come over because I didn't want to be alone, so he did.
As I sat next to him on the couch, I stared into his soft eyes, wishing he was mine, but he didn't notice me like that and I knew it. After two hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, I decided to go to sleep. I looked at him, said "thanks" and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom he walked to my locker. "my date is sick," he said. "she's not going to go." well, I didn't have a date, and in seventh grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together, just as "best friends" so we did. Prom night, after everything was over, we were standing on my front doorstep. I stared at him as he smiled at me with his brown eyes. I want him to be mine, but he doesn't think of me like that and I know it. Then I said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month, and before I could blink, it was Graduation Day. I watched as his perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get his diploma. I want him to be mine, but he didn't think of me like that and I knew it. Before everyone went home, I went to him in my smock and cap, and cried as he hugged me. Then I lifted my head from his shoulder and said "you're my best friend, thanks." and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.

A few years later
Now I sit in the pews of a church. That guy is getting married now. I watched him say "I do" and drive off to a new life, married to another girl. But before he drove away, he came to me and said "you came!" he said thanks and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed. I look down at the coffin of the guy who used to be my "best friend" At the service, the read a letter that he had written to a friend during his high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at her wishing she was mine, but she doesn't think of me like that and I know it. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her but I'm just too shy and I don't know why. I wish she would tell me she loved me!

I wish I had too...i thought to myself, and I cried.

i feel like crying.

i think i understand what cin and adrea mean.sometimes you feel the most lonely whenever you're with the most people.it's happening more an more to me nowadays.i feel rather lost.i wish some things didn't affect me so much.i'm quite dumb one.but anyway the touch rug seniors won!oh well not as if its unexpected they are so good anyway.was a busy day yesterday went sch in e morning to do e sports da prep(we picked cans from bins!ah!) n later went town to support touch rug(or at least watch them trash ppl ahha) den went for class dinner at fish n co(now im pok but it turned out to be pretty good).

Your Birthdate: September 24

Born on the 24th, you have a greater capacity for responsibility and helping others than your may have realized. You may also become the mediator and peacemaker in inharmonious situations. Devoted to family, you tend to manage and protect. This birth date adds to the emotional nature and perhaps to the sensitivities. Affections are important to you; both the giving and the receiving.