I'm getting closer to being a full fledged adult. Today, I turn 19 and somehow birthdays don't feel That special anymore. I remember how i'd get up all excited feeling like it's a very special day with a special feeling. Now, i'm kinda feeling a little numb about that part. Instead, there's new found motivation to do many other things. I made a list of 10 things i'd like to achieve, of which include the basic ones like cleaning the room and exercising regularly, to the more proper ones such as having a goal by the end of the year. I'm not sure how these lists help to make me work harder towards being a better me, but i think writing them down reminds you of what you set out to do.

I still yearn to behave like a kid, for someone to fuss over me but i think it's time to take on more responsibility in my life. It doesn't feel so exciting, but i guess i'm learning to grow up.

Happy 19th Birthday to me.

Some photos from MAF


with all the class girls


and the how the central plaza looked like. can you see the blue dragon centrepiece? and the lightings look like some ppart of a fantasy of some sort right!


and feeling like The Luckiest Girl in The Entire World! finally got my dream photo with the hottest people!(the photos really don't do them justice.and me too haha!) On the left is nigel, who is super hot, and on the right is gabriel(my bro), who's super cool. sigh how often do moments like these come by!

Today, or rather last night(which was like about 8 hours ago?) was MAF and i absolutely loved it.

I love it when i walk into school, i see so many familiar faces i want to smile at.
I love it when i walk into school, the celebration i was working hard to prepare for 2 years ago is still being prepared (almost) the same way today by people who have yet to understand how much they are going to come to love it.
I love it when i walk into school, the teacher who used to hate me now seems to love me.(hot babe mrs --- !!)
I love it when i walk into school, the vice-principal still remembers me - as the oreintation queen.
I love it when i walk into school, the warmth is felt(even though some people don't seem to feel it)
I love it when i walk into school, it isn't just a class gathering i'm looking forward to but an opportunity to soak up the school atmosphere which has been missed for the last 10 months or so.
I love it when i walk into school, i know that the place is going to be somewhere i'll still want to go back to just to dance the mass dances and sing the songs, even when i grow very old.


The memory of hwachong/council etched in my memory is just so perfect. It's impossible to hang on to the past, and so, tonight my cinderella fairytale ends. After the event/clock strikes 12/i fall asleep, i'll wake up to reality, which tends to bite. But maybe next year, i'll allow myself to go back to that fantasy, just for one night.

I really miss hwachong.

Maybe it's because i haven't adjusted properly yet, but somehow i feel empty when i come home on most days. And when i wake up, or on the verge of falling asleep, i just get this bad feeling inside me. It's like a mix of fear and dread, and the fear gets really overwhelming sometimes and i'd wish someone was beside me to reassure me and let me hold on to him/her. I don't think many people would expect me react like that when i go to a new school. Something feels wrong and i don't know what it is.

i'm really looking forward to maf! and going back for whatever things i can. it's really true that you enjoy jc/secondary school the most.